Thursday, February 5, 2009

Part Two, of Quite Possibly the Longest Blog Post in History

Well, I don't know exactly what happened, but the Blogger wouldn't let me space through to another paragraph, so I sent what I'd written so far (so it didn't get lost), and figured I'd continue with a "part two".


I have to admit, her e-mail really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, I know she doesn't know me from a hole in the wall, and who knows what was going through her head when her husband's ex-girlfriend dropped out of the sky and onto her webpage... but still... there was SOOOOOO much about her curt little response that just raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

It took all I had to shoot off a snotty little response, but I bit my tongue, walked away from the computer to cool off, and came back when I had a clearer head. I told her I can understand how he'd feel overhwhelmed, but he needs to know that there are plenty of people who, for one reason or another, felt bonded to him, and wanted to know how he was doing. And, because I have a "past" with him, I was more or less their "go to" person. I also said I could totally respect that he needed time, and that I'd be more than happy to give him all the time in the world.

(Okay, okay... just because I said it, didn't mean I necessarily was FEELING it, but I was trying so very hard to be my diplomatic, "I'll take the high road" kinda gal.)

It was after those series of e-mails, and the weeks that ensued, that I began to feel crushed. I was, after all, a pretty integral part of his past (we went out together for about a year and a half, and got pretty serious there for awhile), and I was nothing but good to him. Why on earth would he shun me the way that he was?

It took me a bit of time to process through the whole thing -- to talk to people whose opinions I valued, to help me work through all the different scenarios. And, it also took me gathering ALL of the courage I had, and then placing a call to his work number VERY early on a Saturday morning (and praying, the ENTIRE time, that he wouldn't pick up the phone!), so I could hear his voice. Once I got through all that, I found a peace within me. I determined that he had made his own little life for himself, that he'd gotten himself to a better place physically and emotionally, and that he was doing well. And, quite frankly, all I really wanted to know was that he was okay. And I got that from his voice on his answering machine. I can't explain how... but I did.

The weird thing is, the guy who prompted me to seek out this man in the first place has all but dropped off the face of the earth, too. He's all but disappeared off of Facebook, hardly ever responding to anyone's posts (and when he does, it's only with these short, almost bullet-type answers). He won't return my phone calls, and he barely responds to my e-mails, too. I'm wondering if this "old buddy" of his, doesn't want to rekindle THAT relationship, either???

Men! Sigh.

Anyway... back to my life at hand. The littlest little is gearing up for her 4th birthday, and I went yesterday to book HER party (at Chuck-E-Cheese's, per HER request... the little Diva!). She's given me her short list of invitees, and at the very top is her "boyfriend", Luis (whom, she's going to marry someday, dontchya know!). Every night, when I'm getting her clothes together for school the next morning, she tells me that she has to look "really pretty for her boyfriend"...!!!! Ugh!

Who knew that it would be my THREE-YEAR-OLD who'd be boy crazy first???

Besides, I'm saving her for one of either Natalie's boys. I'll let them fight over who winds up getting her. All I can say is... GOOD luck, once you decide! She's a REAL handful, that one! :)

It's Been Such A Long Time...

Now that I have the Boston tune stuck in my head.... :)

I sincerely apologize for not giving a blog update to all of my buds out there in cyberspace. I honestly do believe that someone hit the "fast forward" button right after Christmas, 'cause life's been a big blur after that!

We all survived the Christmas holiday quite nicely. The kids were very pleased with their gifts (as well they should have been!), and busied themselves pretty much the entire time off with their new gizmos and gadgets.

On the 26th of December, we celebrated my oldest daughter's 10th birthday with a homemade cake and ice cream, and even MORE presents for the birthday girl. For several years now, she's been saying how she can't wait until she turns 10, so she can have a laser tag party like her big brother had a few years back. The place I took him (Good Times) only allows kids over 10 to participate in their laser tag parties, and she was so looking forward to it. She was completely crushed when I came home one day, and told her the bad news -- I was at the shopping mall across the street from Good Times, and as I was exiting the back of the parking lot, I noticed that not only was Good Times shut down, but it was COMPLETELY gone (apparently, they closed because of poor revenue). From what I heard, they're putting an IKEA in its place. Good for me; BAD for her.

I promised her that I would do my very best to search out another place that has a laser tag party as one of its theme offerings. After some hefty Internet researching (you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to actually FIND a place close to home!), I discovered that the Kid's Playground offers such a thing. The only thing was, because they shut down the entire place, to allow party goers the run of the joint, they only offer these parties either before or after regular store hours.

So... I promised her that we'd schedule an "after-birthday lasertag bash" for her. I'm waiting for the income taxes to come in, and then I'm heading off to Kid's Playground to book it for her.

January brought snow. LOTS and LOTS of snow. I was housebound for what felt like almost the entire month (except for the taxi service to and from school, and the necessary trips to the grocery store to replenish sustenance). Why didn't I update then, you ask? Well..... because I had a situation occur that kind of put me in a funk. Not the same kind of funk I was in months before, mind you, but one that left me with a LOT of thinking and resolving to do.

As a member of Facebook, I've been thoroughly enjoying reconnecting with friends -- especially those from high school and college, whom I'd lost touch with YEARS ago. One of those "friends" is actually a former buddy of an ex-boyfriend of mine. He and I have really enjoyed getting to know each other (really, for the first time, since he was only a casual acquaintance back when I was dating his friend).

One day, he asked me if I'd help him try and find this friend of his/ex-boyfriend of mine. He lost touch with him a LONG time ago, and apparently, their last encounter wasn't such a pleasant one. He really missed the guy, and wanted to let him know that he never stopped being his friend. I agreed to help out, in any way I could, and plugged at it a chunk at a time, whenever I could spare a minute on the computer.

The trouble is, this guy's name is fairly common, and I kept going so far into a specific search, then hitting a brick wall when I found out it wasn't the right guy. I hit on a nugget of unfortunate information, when I stumbled across his dad's obituary, archived in one of our local newspapers. As sad as I was to read that his dad had passed, it was still really helpful, because it listed this guy and his (then) current location, which at least pointed me in the right direction.

The next day, I plugged in his name and the location, and *poof*... there was some concrete information, which could have been a clear indicator that I'd actually found him! The only thing that concerned me was, this guy I'd found was a real "techie" -- a career path that was so far removed from the guitar-playing, artistic boy I once knew. But hey, one never knows what can happen in 20+ years, so I gave it a shot, and sent this computer dude an e-mail. That, unfortunately, hit a bit of a dead end too, 'cause I never got a response back.

I did, however, find out what this guy's wife's name was, from the Internet results I obtained. On a whim, I decided to try out Facebook, and see if she might have a profile on there. When I plugged her name into the Friend Finder, and clicked "search", there appeared before me a black and white photo of a youngish-looking woman, flanked by three adorable little kids. Upon closer inspection of one of the boy rugrats in the picture, I could see, for sure that he was DEFINITELY a "mini me" of the boy I'd once dated.


I was giddy with excitement, not only because I'd found him, and could go back to his long-lost friend and give him the good news, but because, well.... I'd ACTUALLY DONE IT! I'd found him! (I was pretty impressed with myself, if I do say so myself! :)

I informed my new friend that I'd found the guy, and he, of course, was over the moon. He contacted the guy's wife, and wound up e-mailing the guy back and forth a few times. Before I knew it, my friend had sent me my ex-boyfriend's e-mail, encouraging me to contact him. I reminded him that he was one exceptional guy, and that most boys/men don't really want to rekindle a friendship with a former girlfriend. He insisted that this guy would love to hear from me, and that I shouldn't be ridiculous, and I should just go ahead and write to him.

It took me six attempts (deleting five in the process), to finally get up the courage to write. I kept my entry pretty benign, only relaying information about my life, and where it's taken me from then until now. I sent of the e-mail, and waited for a response.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And.... got NOTHING. The "silence" was so deafening, that I dropped a note to wifey-poo (on Facebook), announcing myself, telling her I was an "old friend" of his, and would love it if he and I could reconnect, and if she and I might become friends, too.

It took all of thirty seconds for HER to e-mail me back. She told me that she doesn't normally add people to her friends' list that she doesn't know (this AFTER she added the guy who was looking for her husband -- uhm, okay!), and that her husband was "a very private person" who was "very overwhelmed" by the surge of people who were coming out of the woodwork to contact him all at once. She also said that she was leaving it completely up to him as to whether or not he wanted to contact me, and that I should give him time.