Thursday, February 5, 2009

Part Two, of Quite Possibly the Longest Blog Post in History

Well, I don't know exactly what happened, but the Blogger wouldn't let me space through to another paragraph, so I sent what I'd written so far (so it didn't get lost), and figured I'd continue with a "part two".


I have to admit, her e-mail really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, I know she doesn't know me from a hole in the wall, and who knows what was going through her head when her husband's ex-girlfriend dropped out of the sky and onto her webpage... but still... there was SOOOOOO much about her curt little response that just raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

It took all I had to shoot off a snotty little response, but I bit my tongue, walked away from the computer to cool off, and came back when I had a clearer head. I told her I can understand how he'd feel overhwhelmed, but he needs to know that there are plenty of people who, for one reason or another, felt bonded to him, and wanted to know how he was doing. And, because I have a "past" with him, I was more or less their "go to" person. I also said I could totally respect that he needed time, and that I'd be more than happy to give him all the time in the world.

(Okay, okay... just because I said it, didn't mean I necessarily was FEELING it, but I was trying so very hard to be my diplomatic, "I'll take the high road" kinda gal.)

It was after those series of e-mails, and the weeks that ensued, that I began to feel crushed. I was, after all, a pretty integral part of his past (we went out together for about a year and a half, and got pretty serious there for awhile), and I was nothing but good to him. Why on earth would he shun me the way that he was?

It took me a bit of time to process through the whole thing -- to talk to people whose opinions I valued, to help me work through all the different scenarios. And, it also took me gathering ALL of the courage I had, and then placing a call to his work number VERY early on a Saturday morning (and praying, the ENTIRE time, that he wouldn't pick up the phone!), so I could hear his voice. Once I got through all that, I found a peace within me. I determined that he had made his own little life for himself, that he'd gotten himself to a better place physically and emotionally, and that he was doing well. And, quite frankly, all I really wanted to know was that he was okay. And I got that from his voice on his answering machine. I can't explain how... but I did.

The weird thing is, the guy who prompted me to seek out this man in the first place has all but dropped off the face of the earth, too. He's all but disappeared off of Facebook, hardly ever responding to anyone's posts (and when he does, it's only with these short, almost bullet-type answers). He won't return my phone calls, and he barely responds to my e-mails, too. I'm wondering if this "old buddy" of his, doesn't want to rekindle THAT relationship, either???

Men! Sigh.

Anyway... back to my life at hand. The littlest little is gearing up for her 4th birthday, and I went yesterday to book HER party (at Chuck-E-Cheese's, per HER request... the little Diva!). She's given me her short list of invitees, and at the very top is her "boyfriend", Luis (whom, she's going to marry someday, dontchya know!). Every night, when I'm getting her clothes together for school the next morning, she tells me that she has to look "really pretty for her boyfriend"...!!!! Ugh!

Who knew that it would be my THREE-YEAR-OLD who'd be boy crazy first???

Besides, I'm saving her for one of either Natalie's boys. I'll let them fight over who winds up getting her. All I can say is... GOOD luck, once you decide! She's a REAL handful, that one! :)


Robin L Greenslade said...

Cheryl - after reading your post, I wanted to reach right through the pc monitor and choke the wife for you.

If people don't want to be social, found and engaged with society and their past - why even register with facebook (or any other social network?)

Re-connection and the ability to have closure on past relationships is healthy - to bad your former boyfriend missed out, and the friend who asked you to find him wimped out. They are missing a precious gift - friendship.

Mama C. said...

Oh, but you see, Robin... it didn't end there. I actually wound up talking to my former boyfriend last night! I got tired of waiting around for SOMEONE to clue me in, and braced myself for the realization that he might just tell me to take a long walk off a short pier...and then I called him.

It actually turned out to be a much better conversation than I could have ever hoped, and now I'm even MORE convinced that wifey-poo DEFINITELY has him on a short leash.

But, despite that nasty little fact, I'm pleased to report that he felt that last night's conversation would only be the beginning, and that he would contact me again... via e-mail. We exchanged cell #s, and he told me to call him again, but I said, "No...I've reached out first. Now, it's your turn. You call me." He replied, "I'll e-mail you." Which leads me to believe even MORE that his wife would have a hissy-fit if she found out he was talking to me. I don't DARE try to begin drawing conclusions as to why. I think I'm going to leave that one alone.

I'm just glad that he wants to be in touch, and (hopefully) pursue a friendship. We'll see how it goes.

Michelle D. said...

Facebook is a mixed blessing isn't it? I'm having a bit of a love/hate relationship with it right now too. Glad that you updated know I was worried about you.
P.S. If Natalie's boys don't work out, I've got a feisty 2 1/2 year old that might give her a run for her $$. Ironically, we went to Chuck E Cheese tonight to celebrate parent teacher conferences being over...the first time I've been in 2 years :)

Susy said...

I want another post!

Karyn said...

I like how your 4 year old has picked her husband already.