Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I completely understand that good dental hygiene is necessary, but MAN, why does it ALL have to suck so bad? That's all I'm sayin'.

P.S. -- Don't tell my kids I said that! :)

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Rainy Days and Mondays...

It rained again today, for the second day in row. Mostly showers, sometimes torrential downpours, but almost always a steady stream of rain.

Agriculturally speaking, I know it was a very good thing, and a much needed relief against the brushfires that had been threatening all of our local communities. But still.... the dark, the damp, the chilly was a bad mix for my soul.

It takes all I can to get up and get moving on days like today. I get into this hideaway, tuck under the covers, hibernation mode that doesn't bode well for a busy mom of three. I felt like a sloth for two days, bounding slooooollllyyyyy through each day, as if I had 30 pound weights strapped to my ankles.

So, then... the flowers are saturated, the grass is watered, the brushfires are at bay. Time for me to rub some sun on my face, once again.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Synchronicity of Thirteen


It's how many gazillion times I've wished you'd stop growing up so fast. It's how many thousands of times I've marveled over how incredibly smart, and funny, and compassionate, and caring you are. It's how many hundreds of times I've prayed for your well-being. It's how many dozens of times I've had conversations with you about the perils of "teenage" years. It's the countless number of times I've hoped that your heart will remain in tact, that you find everything you're looking for, and that you find you way to true happiness.

And, it's how old you are today.

I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but you turn 13 today. It seems like last week sometime when you were first presented to me… a beautiful, pink, warm, wet, wide-eyed baby boy… as seemingly eager to meet me as I you. And, as quickly as you entered into this world, you have now become a teenager.

You're about to enter the beginning of your "growing up" years. You're incredibly (and rightfully) excited about this prospect. I'm terrified. Mostly because I've been a teenager, and I know how fragile you can be during this transitional stage in your life. I hope it goes without being said, but you can always come and talk to either your father or me about anything that's weighing heavily on your heart, anything that's bothering or frustrating you, or for any advice you may need or require.
You're also more than welcome to share all of your joys, accomplishments, and exciting events that are about to unfold for you. I will be very "present" as your world takes shape; as you pass through the doors of your teenage years, and move forward into the realm of manhood. I will watch, in awe, as you enter into, then graduate from high school; select and get accepted into the college of your choice; land that "perfect" job; meet and marry the girl of your dreams; and then present to me your own beautiful, pink, warm, wet, wide-eyed baby boy (or girl!). Synchronicity at its finest.

These major milestones in your life will undoubtedly happen just as quickly as the ones that have already passed for you, and I look forward to being a part of it all. As always, I'll be here to catch you when you fall, and I'll also stand tall and proud, knowing that the man you will become is the child I helped to produce.

Happy 13th birthday, my son. I wish, with all my heart, that you both enjoy and savor this rite of passage. Your life is about to take you on so many new journeys, and I can't wait to come along for the ride.

(This was originally written for my son in September 2007, to commemorate his 13th birthday. I just wanted to post it here, so I could share it with all of you....and show you that I really do love my kids! ;)

The Reason Behind My Blog Name

One of my online MOMMY chat friends recently submitted a hysterical post from EBay, listed by a mom who, to put it quite bluntly, was exasperated by her children. All six of them (God help her!). I swear to you, I laughed out loud while reading it, and realized I'd stumbled across the Erma Bombeck of the 21st century. Here's the link to the listing, so you can see for yourself: (and yes, she did actually sell her Pokemon cards for $142.51!!!).

As soon as I found out that this incredibly talented mom had her own blog, I followed her there. Dawn's blog link is here: Go check it out, when you have a minute. If you're a parent, or you've ever had to deal directly with small children, or even if you just want a good chuckle, I guarantee you, you'll thoroughly enjoy reading her larger-than-life experiences.

But, promoting Dawn's writings is not the purpose of this blog (although I truly believe she deserves all of the recognition she can get). I'm writing to "copy" her, in a sense. In one of her older posts, she writes about sentences that have come out of her mouth when speaking to one (or all) of her children, that she NEVER dreamed she'd ever say.

After reading through this particular blog, nodding in agreement and acknowledgement over almost every single one, I created a "top ten" list of my own. So, without further ado, here's my very own list of things I never imagined I'd say in my lifetime:

1) Stop riding your sister like a horse (try explaining that one to the neighbors!)
2) There's clay in the rug... again! (I swear the people next door think there's a person named Clay living here)
3) Stop licking the couch! (My 3-year-old has this almost obscene fascination with our leather couch.)
4) Does anyone know how to get Vaseline out of hair? (Surprisingly enough, there's quite a lot of information on the Web. Nice to know I'm not alone in that particular adventure.)
5) Use a tissue! (I don't have to go into the specifics of this one, do I?)
6) Get off your brother! (Again... the neighbors think I'm running a brothel.)
7) Stop drinking all my milk! (Yes, I've actually "uddered" these words... sorry... couldn't help myself!)
8) How did ketchup get on the ceiling? (I'm still waiting for the explanation on this one.)
9) Go brush your teeth... WITH toothpaste this time! (You know, I used to laugh when I watched Bill Cosby's bit on this. Now I just nod in agreement.)and of course....
10) 'Cause I'm the mom, that's why!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Brief rantings of an overly-exhausted mom

So... I never expected to be posting my second entry so soon, but yet, here I am.

Why is it that, as a mom, I can be completely exasperated one minute, and then completely heartsick the next?

Case in point: my three-year-old daughter. A half-hour ago, I emerged from the basement (where I was switching over laundry), only to find her shying away from me, muttering the word "Nothing" Now, let me explain... whenever my littlest little says "Nothing", that usually means she's been up to no good. See, the normal conversation goes:

Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: "Nothing"

And then, the investigation begins, to find out what it is that she's "protecting" herself from. And trust me, it usually ends badly.

This time, "nothing" meant that she'd stuck one of her socks in her potty (full-up with a fresh deposit of pee), and proceeded to "clean" her bedroom windows with the mess. I'm astounded at her level of amazement with her own waste, and wonder what goes through her little head when she thinks that a liquid that's been evacuated from her own body can possibly pass as a sufficient cleaning substance?

But, I digress.

I immediately put her on the "time out" chair (a.k.a. one of the living room chairs), and commenced my own, healthier version of clean up.

And now, I'm listening to the wailings and pleadings of a distraught toddler, trapped in an overstuffed leather chair as if she were a fly snared in a spider's web. "Please, Mommy... can I get up? I promise to be good. Pleaseohpleaseohplleeeaaaasssseeee???"

Of course my husband, who's sitting in another living room chair opposite her, is completely oblivious. He's engulfed in the current NASCAR race on TV, and doing an amazing job at totally ignoring her. (He probably has his hearing aide turned down all the way, too... which I'm sure helps tremendously!)

So that leaves me... the constant bad guy... to deal with the situation. Do I let her up, and free myself from the wretched sound of my daughter's constant pleading, or do I keep her grounded, in the sincere hopes that she'll learn a valuable lesson? There lies the rub.

Maybe I'll do what she does when she's obviously trying to ignore me. Start singing the theme song to "Spongebob Squarepants".

I'll let you know if it works.

Here's my virgin post

Hello there!

I figured it was high time to do more than just dip my toes into the technology of the 21st century, so I've taken the plunge into blogging (for better or worse)! I'm not sure how this is all going to evolve, how many times I may or may not post, or even what I'm going to say, for that matter. All I know is that my journey has begun, and I'm hoping you'll sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride with me!