One of my online MOMMY chat friends recently submitted a hysterical post from EBay, listed by a mom who, to put it quite bluntly, was exasperated by her children. All six of them (God help her!). I swear to you, I laughed out loud while reading it, and realized I'd stumbled across the Erma Bombeck of the 21st century. Here's the link to the listing, so you can see for yourself: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=130144061675&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=003 (and yes, she did actually sell her Pokemon cards for $142.51!!!).
As soon as I found out that this incredibly talented mom had her own blog, I followed her there. Dawn's blog link is here: http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/. Go check it out, when you have a minute. If you're a parent, or you've ever had to deal directly with small children, or even if you just want a good chuckle, I guarantee you, you'll thoroughly enjoy reading her larger-than-life experiences.
But, promoting Dawn's writings is not the purpose of this blog (although I truly believe she deserves all of the recognition she can get). I'm writing to "copy" her, in a sense. In one of her older posts, she writes about sentences that have come out of her mouth when speaking to one (or all) of her children, that she NEVER dreamed she'd ever say.
After reading through this particular blog, nodding in agreement and acknowledgement over almost every single one, I created a "top ten" list of my own. So, without further ado, here's my very own list of things I never imagined I'd say in my lifetime:
1) Stop riding your sister like a horse (try explaining that one to the neighbors!)
2) There's clay in the rug... again! (I swear the people next door think there's a person named Clay living here)
3) Stop licking the couch! (My 3-year-old has this almost obscene fascination with our leather couch.)
4) Does anyone know how to get Vaseline out of hair? (Surprisingly enough, there's quite a lot of information on the Web. Nice to know I'm not alone in that particular adventure.)
5) Use a tissue! (I don't have to go into the specifics of this one, do I?)
6) Get off your brother! (Again... the neighbors think I'm running a brothel.)
7) Stop drinking all my milk! (Yes, I've actually "uddered" these words... sorry... couldn't help myself!)
8) How did ketchup get on the ceiling? (I'm still waiting for the explanation on this one.)
9) Go brush your teeth... WITH toothpaste this time! (You know, I used to laugh when I watched Bill Cosby's bit on this. Now I just nod in agreement.)and of course....
10) 'Cause I'm the mom, that's why!