Saturday, September 20, 2008

My Dad

It's been 19 years today since my father died, and I posted this video, for him.



The very first time I heard this song it had just been released, and I was driving to somewhere. The day was so busy with errands I was surprised when I forgot what day it was. It was a few years ago....today. By the time the middle of that song came, and I heard Luther sing about hearing his mother crying in her room, I had to pull over. I had tears running down my face and couldn't see well enough to drive. I still can't hear this song all the way through without welling up. It's been hard losing him... and it's even harder when I think about all the things he's missed about my life since he's been gone. The failed marriage I finally left because it was just simply WRONG for me, which opened the door for me to find the RIGHT guy, whom I've been with for over 16 years, and have had three amazing kids with. He didn't even walk me down the aisle then... my husband-to-be and I walked hand in hand through the door together on that day. A symbol, I guess, of my first real "adult" act since my father's passing.

My dad was VERY strict (sometimes to the point of being downright mean, in my estimation), but he was incredibly smart, had a wonderful, dry wit about him, and offered a balance to my mother that really hasn't been there since. And there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about him in some capacity. I miss him every day, and feel the "empty space" in the room whenever there's a family function, knowing he should be there to celebrate with us. Mostly, I wish he were here to talk to, and to seek advice from. He died way too fast, too young, and too soon.

So, Dad....wherever you are... I hope you've found a comfortable rocking chair, and are kicking back, drinking a Schlitz, chewing on some sharp cheddar, or a slice of pepperoni, munching on some Wise potato chips, and watching a game somewhere. I wouldn't even mind if you called me into the room, just so I could change the television channel for ya.

Love ya... you old coot.

3 comments:

Final score:Boys 5 Girls 0 said...

What a great song and a beautiful tribute to your dad! I love the song...I had never heared it before. Hope that all is well!

Karyn said...

I love your tribute to your dad and the song you picked.

Mama C. said...

Thanks, guys. I'm doing okay... just kind of reflective, that's all. Thank goodness for all the back-to-school stuff that happens at the beginning of the month, and all of the birthday stuff that happens for my son at the end of the month. Otherwise, September would completely suck! :)