We were at a similar point in our marriage as lots of other people. Stuck. Stagnant. No clean air. Not moving forward.
Well, geez... what did I expect, after 15 years of "togetherness"? Still, it left a hole in my gut the size of Cleveland. No, I didn't expect to reinvent the fireworks and chamber music. But a loving glance my way, or a pat on the behind as he walked past me would have brought back enough of the old times to make me feel like it was a start.
Then I saw a special on TV, speaking about our very dilemma.....how to spruce up a marriage in a rut. Most of it was fluff, really. But, there was one sticking point.... don't focus on your partner's negative points. Look more at the positive things they do. Simple enough, right?
So, I did just that. I started to sum up ALL of the good parts of the man I'd married. Not only the traits he had that made me fall in love with him in the first place, but all of the other gems I'd uncovered as we moved forward in our life together. I began to make a mental list, including everything from the ridiculous to the sublime, some of which include:
He makes a sincere effort to call me at least once a day, just to see how my day is going.
He cooks dinner almost every night.
He's a really likable guy.
He helps with the kids when he gets home from work.
He lets me sleep in on his days off, even when he's tired himself.
He really cares about my feelings, whenever I'm upset or angry.
He helps with the laundry.
He helps with the housework.
He still knows how to make me laugh.
He's still the first person I go to when I'm upset or angry.
He's still my very best friend, and I truly couldn't imagine my life without him.
I continued to add to this list, and was delighted each time I re-discovered another wonderful thing about my man. And, an amazing thing happened... I found myself feeling LUCKY again. Lucky to have him in my life, lucky that he chose ME to share in his life with him, and to be the one to have children with, lucky to know such a decent, caring, sweet guy. Lucky to have smartened up.
Don't get me wrong... we were never really in trouble. We were just stuck, like I said. But, I have to tell you... it feels a whole lot better, being "un-stuck"! And, I couldn't think of a better person to be "un-stuck" with.
~~Originally posted on my MySpace blog on July 24, 2007